Click on this link to watch part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch-H5icTXF4
Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html
The narcissistâs ability to penetrate the defenses of his victims is instinctual and intuitive, not the outcome of deliberative analysis. He homes in on other peopleâs vulnerabilities as a tiger mauls a straying, weakened gazelle ; he leverages his targetâs fears and neediness the way a virus breaches cellular defenses and then uses the cellâs machinery to replicate; and he taunts, abuses, torments, harasses, and stalks his prey because itâs fun and imbues him with a sense of pleasurable omnipotence. Acting this way is in the narcissistâs nature, itâs an integral and crucial part of who he is.
The narcissistâs âx-ray visionâ is strictly limited to the traits, qualities, and behaviors of his would-be and actual victims that are useful in subjugating them and converting them into sources of narcissistic supply. The narcissistâs arrested personal development, his massive psychological defenses, his poor reality test (his grandiose and persecutory fantasies), and his cognitive deficits render him incapable of true, profound, and comprehensive insight into others and into the human condition.
Contrary to widely held views, Narcissists and Psychopaths may actually possess empathy. They may even be hyper-empathic, attuned to the minutest signals emitted by their victims and endowed with a penetrating "X-ray vision". They tend to abuse their empathic skills by employing them exclusively for personal gain, the extraction of narcissistic supply, or in the pursuit of antisocial and sadistic goals. They regard their ability to empathize as another weapon in their arsenal. There are two possible pathological reactions to childhood abuse and trauma: codependenceand narcissism. They both involve fantasy as a defense mechanism: the codependent has a pretty realistic assessment of herself, but her view of others is fantastic; the narcissistâs self-image and self-perception are delusional and grandiose, but his penetrating view of others is bloodcurdlingly accurate.
I suggest to label the narcissistic psychopath's version of empathy: "cold empathy", akin to the "cold emotions" felt by psychopaths. The cognitive element of empathy is there, but not so its emotional correlate. It is, consequently, a barren, detached, and cerebral kind of intrusive gaze, devoid of compassion and a feeling of affinity with one's fellow humans.
Narcissists and psychopaths also appear to be âempathizingâ with their possessions: objects, pets, and their sources of narcissistic supply or material benefits (often their nearest and dearest, significant others, or âfriendsâ and associates). But this is not real empathy: it is a mere projection of the narcissistâs or psychopathâs own insecurities and fears, needs and wishes, fantasies and priorities. This kind of displayed âempathyâ usually vanishes the minute its subject ceases to play a role in the narcissistâs or psychopathâs life and his psychodynamic processes.
Cold Empathy evokes the concept of âUncanny Valleyâ, coined in 1970 by the Japanese roboticist Masahiro Mori. Mori suggested that people react positively to androids (humanlike robots) for as long as they differ from real humans in meaningful and discernible ways. But the minute these contraptions come to resemble humans uncannily, though imperfectly, human observers tend to experience repulsion, revulsion, and other negative emotions, including fear.
The same applies to psychopathic narcissists: they are near-perfect imitations of humans, but, lacking empathy and emotions, they are not exactly there. Psychopaths and narcissists strike their interlocutors as being some kind of âalien life-formsâ or âartificial intelligenceâ, in short: akin to humanoid robots, or androids. When people come across narcissists or psychopaths the Uncanny Valley reaction kicks in: people feel revolted, scared, and repelled. They canât put the finger on what it is that provokes these negative reactions, but, after a few initial encounters, they tend to keep their distance.
(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)